Archive for January, 2008
I had a realization the other day. I can’t save everyone. I can’t rescue my students. (Well, I guess I could, but it would be wrong.)
The day I felt so burdened I pulled a couple of my students into my arms and told them through a tear-choked voice,
“I’m sorry life is so hard. I’m sorry you don’t have enough money for food. I’m sorry parents make bad decisions and I’m sorry I can’t do anything to stop it.”
One of my students looked me in the eye and said very gently, “But you point us to God, that’s the best thing you could do.”
The tears continued to flow but now I was smiling.
She’s right. I can’t save them from the life they live. I can’t help the fact that they’re caught in the deadening cycle of our “me-first” culture. If I did I might be stealing from them the lessons God is using to make them the adults He wants them to be.
He is the only one who can save them.
He is their only rescue.
I can just point the way.
Hunger is not the only battle students across the globe face everyday. I sit across from students all the time as they describe the things they’ve faced in their short lifetime.
“I cut myself.”
“I never met my dad.”
“My parents are divorced.”
“My step dad molested me.”
The list could go on and on. I sat across from a student at lunch the other day as he described his home life.
“My step dad never really talks to me. My sister and I hate each other. My mom yells all the time.” These people all live under the same roof and call themselves a family but they never even speak to each other!
So I ask myself, “What makes me (home schooled little girl with the so-called perfect life) think I can get on stage and talk to them about God’s love when they don’t even know what it means to be loved?”
They don’t even know what it’s like.
I’m feeling about the size of my pinky toe right now.
What do you think?
I often visit my students during lunch at their school cafeteria. On this particular visit I sat next to one of my students and noticed he wasn’t eating. So I ask him,
“Where’s your lunch?”
He got this shocked look on his face like he was quickly trying to think of something to say.
“Oh, I’m not hungry.”
I left it alone, but watched him through out our conversation. He eyed everyone else’s food, and when the kid sitting across from him pushed his plate away holding a handful of cold French fries, my student started eating until they were gone.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t hungry, it’s that he didn’t have a buck 50 to buy his own meal! I sat there as the realization and the hopelessness sunk in. Later I learned this student lives with his alcoholic mother who could care less that her son doesn’t even have enough money to feed himself during the day!
I cried all day. I’m not broke. I’m rich. Very rich.
God! What can we do?
About a month ago I prayed that God would help me put my trust in Him and not in my money. Before working for Lifechurch.tv, I had a part time job at a reputable oil and gas company. Though it was part time, I had full time pay and benefits. I accumulated quite a savings.
I didn’t realize God would answer in such an obvious way. I mean, when I prayed that prayer, I was thinking he would just magically make me trust in Him instead of my bank account. I didn’t know He was going to depleat me!
Since praying that prayer and having it reiterated through the Lifechurch.tv series, I have:
- had to replace the transmision in my car = $2300
- have to have an oral proceedure done by a specialist who isn’t covered by my insurance = who knows?
- hit a curb and bent the frame work of my car taking me to a specialist who works on car frames = who knows?
Those are just the major issues. I didn’t mention I lost my debit card and became overdrawn in my checking account.
The lesson? Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it!
But honestly? I’m not even worried. Actually, I’m elated! I get the chance to trust God to provide financially! Something I’ve never had to worry about before! I’m not even going to ask you to pray for me (even though you can if you feel so lead) because I know that God is taking care of me.
The sweetness of my trust in Him is changing my life.
What crazy prayers have you prayed recently? Is He answering them? Are the answers what you expected?
In what area are you having to trust God more?
“Leadership happens first with myself.”
This one is actually the hardest one for me. To effectivly lead we must first lead ourselves well. Having life balance will only make us better leaders in the end.
Please keep me accountable to this. I’m bad at it.
What about you? Do you have good life balance? How could it be better?
I wanted to update everyone on tonight’s experience. I absolutely love SWITCH, it’s my life. I come alive when I see students here on Wednesdays.
We had 325 students and 61 adult leaders. 6 hands were raised! I was a little discouraged during worship as students talked and messed around during the music. I just so want them to know who Christ is that’s it’s frustrating when I feel like they’re not getting it. But I must remember, this is a marathon, not a race… every week is another opportunity to allow God to use us to connect student’s hearts with His heart.
Want to be a part of this? Let me know! I could hook you up as a leader!
This one rocks my world.
“Lead at the capacity you want, not the capacity you have.”
Meaning… lead like you’re an organization making millions, even if you’re making thousands. Lead like you’re the leader of 100 even if it’s only 50.
How can you lead at the capacity you want? What changes do you think this mindset would bring?
The past couple weeks have been a huge turning point in the way I approach my ministry and leadership. This week I’ll share a few “nuggets” “morels” “bites-to-chew-on” of how God is changing the way I lead.
“The more you give your leadership away, the greater your ministry grows.”
Don’t believe me? Try it… if you think you’re up for it!
Have you seen this play out in your own life, leadership, ministry? How so?