A look in the Mirror

Yes.  This is me.  Seventy-five pounds heavier than I am right now.  (I’m a little embarrassed to show this to everyone.)  Do I know this girl?  Sometimes.  Sometimes I look at this picture and think there is no way I could ever have been her.  Other times I look in the mirror and this is still the girl I see. 

 

I’ve struggled with weight my whole life.  It was the way my insecurity manifested itself outwardly.  The deadly cycle only made things worse: was I insecure because of my weight, or was my weight the source of my insecurity?  I didn’t know the answer to that question and it was obvious.  I was overweight, so I ate, feeding my insecurities without even knowing it. 

 

I was in bondage.  Deep bondage.  I listened and believed lies about myself: You’re fat.  You’re ugly.  No one likes you.  No one wants to be around you.  You’re undesirable and you always will be.  I cared what people thought so bad that I actually gave myself physical heart problems from stress and anxiety.  I was not the girl I was meant to be. 

 

What changed?  I’m not even sure myself.  But something did.  Something inside.  My eyes were opened.  I woke up.  The person I was meant to be pounded the door of my heart screaming, “Let me out!  I was created for more than this!” 

 

And the transformation began…

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16 Responses to “A look in the Mirror”

  • Cindy Beall says:

    You’ve really battled through some hurt, haven’t you? I’m proud of you for trudging through it all and not being afraid to face the giant.

  • D.A. says:

    It is amazing how we do the very thing that causes problems in our lives even when we know what we are doing to ourselves. I think it comes down to overcoming not only with our strength and decision making but adding God’s power and strength can be very efficacious. Proud of you for facing your bondage, defeating it, and now trying to help others by exposing yourself. D.A.

  • Theresa says:

    You are awesome, strong and a huge inspiration!! Thank you for sharing.

  • mandy says:

    love your candor… thank you

  • Well, my brave girl, this bring tears to my eyes. And I have to say that even more than the visible physical transformation, is the transformation of your heart and spirit from a life set free! What a testimony of His power in your life—I hope and pray others will find freedom in their own lives because of your story. Love you!

  • Brittney Pirtle says:

    Nice… Good stuff!

  • You are so awesome; I had not seen the pink dress photo.

    I am what HE says I am!

  • Maybe you should be called 1/3 of Anna Meadows. I have been insulting you by calling you 1/2.

  • Teena says:

    I can so relate, Anna. Thanks for sharing your story.

    When I read your comment “The person I was meant to be pounded the door of my heart screaming, “Let me out! I was created for more than this!” reminded me of the video clip of the next series “HOSTAGE” that we’ve been seeing at church.

    Sure enjoyed coming to see you speak last week! And by the way….you look great!

  • Anna says:

    Thank you to everyone who has commented and also walked this road with me. I could not have done it without your constant support and love.

  • Sandy says:

    Anna, you are wonderful. I have been reading your blogs lately and I am so proud of you and all the insecurities I have seen you overcome in the past few years. You are truly a beautiful person inside and out.

  • Barbara says:

    I am amazed at your age. Your wisdom is far beyond what I would expect from someone “your age”. I watch my daughter as she struggles with her weight and her self image. She had a boyfriend that got mad at her for putting herself down but then he would do things, sly little things, that would put the self doubt in her head. I have been talking with her and she has started talking with a dear friend of mine that is talking to her from experience. I have not had a weight problem and never had to consider what I was eating and, I have been with the same wonderful man that I met when I was in highschool and we have been married over 30 years. My dear friend could say just the oposite. She could identify and relate. THat has been incredibly important. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend two days ago and is putting her life on a healthy path. I willb e sharing you blog with her. Thanks Anna! See you soon.

  • morgan says:

    anna i just want to say that you are AMAZING!
    and im serious ..you dont even know how much u help me out..and i know u do to a ton of other people too..ur always helpfull.. even my mom come to you for advise.. =]
    keep wrighting it will change someones life…!

  • […] about the satisfying taste of food that brings me a sense of comfort.  For many of you who know my story , you know it was this love, no obsession, for food that caused many of my […]

  • […] be funny to say, but I’d really like to I WILL get into a two-piece bathing suit this summer. I’ve never worn a two-piece and been comfortable in it. This year is the year to be different. I would like to reach this goal […]

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