Archive for November 6th, 2009

You’re Nobody Unless You’re Better than Somebody Else

The comparison game. We’d never admit that we play it. But we do. Sometimes it creeps into our thoughts when we meet someone new (usually another woman.) We size her up, taking in what she’s wearing, how much make-up she has on, what she says, how she acts and the little question we might not even realize is effecting our encounter is “Am I better than her?” Am I prettier? Do I dress better? How do I measure up against her?

I used to struggle with this lie more than I’d like to admit. Thinking back on it now I realize the reason I played this little game of comparing was that I wasn’t secure in who I was. I was always seeking that next thing that could make me feel good about myself. If it was at the expense of another person than that was good enough for me.

It hurts my heart to know that so many women struggle with this desire to compare. It’s often the reason our encounters with each other can be so caddy. It’s definitely the reason I hate going to bridal and baby showers where the room is thick with the tension of comparison. It hurts me to know the reason we succumb to this form of interaction is because of our own insecurity. Why do we allow other people to decide how we feel about ourselves?

The only answer I have found to overcome this comparison game is love. Love is the answer. It may be difficult at first but if we approach our encounters with love we won’t have to compare ourself to someone else. This is just one more step in helping us overcome our insecurity.

Once we’ve realized our own insecurity and begin to overcome it, our eyes began to open and see that most other people (especially women) struggle with their own insecurity as well. If we know the truth and are working to overcome our own lies, love is what drives us to share that same freedom with those who may not know.

Comparison is just the enemy’s tactic to keep us blind to the fact that we need each other. We need each other to fight this battle. We need to link arms and pick each other up when we fall. We need to stop thinking that other women are the enemy and realize the enemy is pitting us against each other.

How much more could we do together than alone?

Let’s destroy these lies once and for all. Let’s not forget who we have been called to be as women and let’s remember that we are all in this together.

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