I had breakfast with a chic last week who has been freed from much insecurity. She has allowed God to reveal to her the lies she believed about herself, and accepted His truth instead. This woman shines with freedom. No longer does she live under the shadow of bondage. She’s captivating, encouraging and full of the love of God.
But there was something troubling her. Ever since she stepped into her new found freedom, the other women in her life have treated her inhumanely. Some of the exchanges my friend has had to put up with, are just plain childish. Cut-downs and negativity. Hurtful words and hateful attitudes. My friend asked me, “What did I do to get this kind of response?”
Nothing. Except get free.
As women, if we’re not careful, we can struggle with petty jealousy. I call it Freedom Envy, caused from not being content with who we are.
We see another woman walking in the freedom we wish we had and something rises up in us. Discontent, depression, obsession, anger, jealousy, hatred… these emotions take control of our attitudes and we lash out causing our insecurity to pull us even tighter into bondage.
I used to struggle with this very thing. There was a girl I grew up with who seemed to have it all: beauty, encouragement, full of life and everyone wanted to be around her. I found myself wishing I had her life, thinking that if I was like her than maybe I wouldn’t hate who I was so much. But then I realized this truth: I wouldn’t make a very good, her. But I would make an excellent me. No one else could be me. Through this, and many other realizations of truth I found my identity and rested in the security it brought. Not too long after I started walking in my freedom I got a call from another girl confessing her jealousy of me. She told me, “I find myself thinking that if I could just be like Anna, then I will like myself. Then, maybe people will want to be around me.” I told her the same thing God had revealed to me: “You wouldn’t make a very good, Anna. But you make an excellent you!”
See, it’s not the person we envy, but the freedom they have found that we want for ourselves. A quote I heard yesterday brings a lot to light:
“It is the things no one sees that results in what everyone wants.”–Craig Groeschel
No one knows what someone might go through to overcome their insecurities. No one can appreciate the pain, tears, doubts and questions that go into finding your identity in Christ. No one, but you.
So ladies, I beg of us, let’s not allow jealousy to steal another sister’s joy and freedom. Instead, let’s start our own journey to discovering it for ourselves. After all, you’ll never make a very good “someone else.” But you’ll make an excellent YOU!