Archive for January 27th, 2010

The #1 Weapon for Your Loved-Ones

There is a quote I love. One that I try to live my life by. One that fits perfectly into our discussion on encouragement as a weapon. It goes like this…

People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what you nag them to be.

As we continue to talk about using encouragement as a weapon we cannot overlook the importance of using this weapon for our husbands, children and families.


I would bet my life fighting for the truth that encouragement has tremendous power when we use it in our relationship with our husbands. Men naturally have a need for words of affirmation, especially from their wife. The reason this need exists has to do with the question they are always asking themselves “Do I have what it takes?” (Thank you Wild at Heart.) While our men should not find their self-worth in us, their wives, it doesn’t hurt to let our men know that we think the world of them.

But what if you don’t think the world of your man? What if he struggles to be the man God has called him to be? What if you are struggling in your marriage because you’re both not meeting the expectations of the other? Encourage anyway.

You want to see your man grow spiritually? Encourage him every time he does something remotely spiritual (goes to church, prays, talks about God, etc.) Instead of, “I wish we prayed more together!” say, “You are a great prayer warrior. Thank you for praying for us.” Want to see him grow in confidence? Encourage him every time he does something around the house. “Honey, you’re amazing! Is there anything you can’t do?” Want to see him grow relationally? You get the picture. People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what you nag them to be. Change the way you talk to your husband and watch him change before your eyes.


Now, I’m not a mother, so those who are will have to share their thoughts here. However, I am a daughter to a great mother and have watched how encouragement has changed my life as she used it in our relationship. Words of affirmation are a HUGE part of a child’s love language, especially as they grow up in the home. This is where they find the confidence to face life as an adult. If you as their parent, aren’t encouraging your child, who do you think is? You want to see a child shut down? Don’t encourage them. Don’t praise them. Don’t challenge them to be better by telling them you know they can do it. You want to see a child thrive? Encourage them. Praise their work. Tell them you believe they can do anything and watch as they prove you right.

Maybe you don’t have a husband, or children, but God has put you in a family to prepare you to one day be a wife and mother. Use these truths with those in your family and watch as your influence with them grows. There is nothing more powerful than the encouraging words of a woman. Use the weapon well.

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