Confession: Growing up I never knew what those silly signs were in the football crowds on TV. They held up a D and then a picket fence… I thought “How strange. It must mean something.” Not knowing anything about football I had to ask my dad. He went on to explain all aspects of the game and I can honestly say I enjoy watching football today because of his explanation.

But I’m not going to be talking about football defense. Today, I want to talk about another kind of defense. I want to talk about the attitude of being defensive as it relates to insecurity.

Show me a defensive person, and I’ll show you a person with lots of insecurities.

Let’s get a working definition of the word defense: Defense: noun serving to defend; protective: resistance  against  attack; protection:

Someone who is always on the defense doesn’t feel safe in who they are. Being defensive means you will protect yourself against anything and everything, even if it means missing out on something great.

Here are a few examples of a defensive person:

  • No one can joke with you because you take everything literally.
  • No one can (or even wants to) give you suggestions on how to do something better because they know it will end up in disaster.
  • You hold almost everyone at arms length, afraid of any real, caring relationships.
  • You are always more talk than action–you believe if you paint a good picture, no one will really know what’s going on underneath.

Ask yourself: Do you know a defensive person? It is almost impossible to have a real relationship with them because they always seem to hold you at arms length.

Are you a defensive person? Does almost everything other people do look like an attack to you? What are you really protecting yourself against?

Defense is a vital part of a good football game, but it will ruin the relationships in your life if you allow it to control you.

Don’t allow defensiveness to control your behavior. In the end living free from defensive behavior is a much better way to win the game.

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