Archive for October 11th, 2010
Life is messy. But for so long she’s been trying to walk through life without getting dirty.
She’s walked so carefully, with her white shoes, and white gloves, being careful to not make a mistake that would cause her to fall down into the messiness of life and soil her nice white, clean clothes.
Sure, the bottoms of her pants have rubbed against the messiness of life and they’ve gotten a little tattered, but you can’t really see them. For the most part, at least as far as people can tell, she’s still clean, she hasn’t let the messiness of life get the better of her.
She’s grown up with a sense of pride that she’s made it this far into life without getting really dirty. She’s made good choices, hasn’t made a lot of mistakes and played it safe. That’s how she’s come to be so clean. You can’t be taking all kinds of risks and expect to stay out of the mud. Everything has it’s time and place and she’s got a plan for just about everything. Can’t be caught by surprise if you want to stay clean. Her thoughts swarm, as she takes each careful step through life, “What a perfect life I’ve led so far.” “Look how clean I am, not a spot on me!” But when it’s time to tell the stories she comes up short.
“No, I didn’t fall and get my gloves dirty. Why? Oh, well I guess because I played it safe. No, I can’t say I’ve ever been up to my knees in the mud… I mean look at my pants, they’re so white… Why? Oh, well I guess because I never took that big step. What kind of stories do I have to tell? Mmmmmm, ………………………… My gloves are really white!”
Does she carry a pride of never messing up? Does she think life’s goal is to get to the end of her life with her clothes still white? What is wrong with celebrating imperfection? Isn’t it okay if not everything lines up? She’s made all the right choices and because of that she’s been blessed. But what if the blessings were the consequences of taking a risk? What if the true blessings were the lessons that come with falling into the mud? Why is she so afraid of being wrong? Messing up? Making a mistake? Taking a risk?
What is faith? Faith is making sure each step will be the right one… faith is making sure each step will keep her away from the mess. No, that’s not right. Her mind and heart are at war, but she cannot let it keep her from moving forward. One last look at the clean, white gloves and she decides. It’s time to get messy. It’s time to try some new things. It’s time to take the risks. It’s time to take the big steps.