Archive for the ‘Youth Ministry’ Category
Sometimes in youth ministry it can be hard to see any fruits of your labor. Sometimes you just don’t know if you’re getting through to your students, or if they are “getting” it or not.
Well, for anyone who has ever felt that way, let me encourage you with this story. This young lady in our youth group at Northwest is 16 years old. I will summarize what her life was like before coming to SWITCH, and then let her take it from there:
Shakari stayed with her mom before coming to SWITCH. Her life was filled with the wrong people: an unhealthy relationship with a 20 year old man (she was 13 at the time.) Friends that encouraged drinking, smoking etc. Since her mom was never around she went to stay with her dad. (This is where we’ll pick up the story in her words)
My dad finally let me and my sisters start to go to SWITCH on Wednesday nights. At first I just went to hang out with my friends and to get out of the house. After a while I started to cut myself because I started to feel all this pain, hurt, the feeling of being alone, and not loved and wanted. Then I would start to have thoughts of suicide and how I just didn’t care anymore. And that nobody would even care that if I was gone so what was the point of staying. It started to be too much to handle so I started talking to my youth leader about these things. And I remember her telling me that she would care if I was gone so would my small group leader and everybody that loved me. That I was not alone I was worth so much more than that. After I talked to her I had felt a little better getting that off my chest and so I tried to stop cutting but it only lasted for about 3-4 weeks. I had just felt so overwhelmed again and that this world and everyone and everything in it hated me. And I remember telling my leader about how I started cutting again and she asked why I had started up again. I told her about being overwhelmed and so tired and alone. She was like “Shakari, God is Always with you, and you might not know it at all times but he is. And that you really need to stop hiding behind yourself because God has put you on this earth for a reason and to be a leader to others and you need to stand up to that.”
I remember one Wednesday night at church during worship I just couldn’t handle everything and I just prayed to God that he comes into my heart. To help me in my times of weakness and to overcome this addiction I had with cutting myself. It felt good to know that the world didn’t hold my life anymore and that God did. After that I started going to church for the right reason. It felt really good to know that I was not alone. It felt great to worship him and try to learn something new from the messages. Of all the people, places, and churches that I have met or been to I have never felt that I actually belonged like I do at SWITCH. I started coming every Wednesday. I can’t imagine my life without SWITCH. I stopped cutting and it has been three months. I know I can hang on and go longer because my leaders and youth pastors are the best and I know I can call them or talk to them whenever I feel tempted. Most of the time when I do feel weak I pray to God and ask him to help me and to give me strength.
Through all things I believe that God put me with my dad because he knew SWITCH was exactly what I needed in my life. I pray to God every night that he does not take LifeChurch away from me because it is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would not know who Jesus is and how much he loves me. I am working on a better and closer relationship with God and I know that I don’t have to build that relationship with God alone. Something that I learned recently is that I was so busy being mad at hating the world and myself that I didn’t see I was causing myself more hurt than anyone else. I know that I have made mistakes but it is okay because I am still loved and wanted and precious in his sight. And of all things I am FORGIVEN.
Working in youth ministry gives me many opportunities to learn and grow. One of the areas I’m growing in right now is finding the balance between being a friend and a leader.
I work with several adult volunteers who, over the course of the three years we’ve been doing ministry, I’ve developed strong ties of friendship. I think relational leadership it is a great way to lead, and probably the way I lead the best. But when problems arise it can be difficult to know which side of the fence to lead from: Friend or leader?
Inevitably, in leadership, you’re not going to make everyone happy. (I’m learning this too, but that is a whole notha blog post). When it’s your friends in the ministry who become unhappy about certain things it can be hard not to take their complaints personally. It can be a challenge to not allow their opinions of you to dictate how you lead and what decisions you make.
There have been several instances in my three years of ministry where I have had to figure out this balance between friend and leader. Here are a few things I’ve done to help me along the way:
- Always check–Anytime someone brings a complaint about how I am leading, I always check myself through prayer to see if their complaint has any truth. If it does, I try to reconcile things with the person. If it doesn’t, I continue to stand firm in my decisions knowing my ultimate goal is not to make other happy, but to please God.
- Seek Counsel--I am surrounded by leaders who are far better and far wiser than I am. Their guidance in areas like this have helped me tremendously along the way.
- Don’t take it personal–The ministry is not about me anyways. I’m simply a steward of what God has given me. When complaints or frustrations with volunteers arise I take my emotions out of the equation and try to lead from an objective mindset. (Ok, so I try to take my emotions out of the equation. Like I said, I’m still learning!)
- Know who you are–This one is so important. If I don’t know who I am or have a firm grasp on why I’m doing what I’m doing, it would be very easy for me to wither under the scrutiny of of what others think. I’ll say it again, I’m not here to make others happy, I’m here to serve, honor and obey God, and only Him.
Maybe you have had similar experiences. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
What do you think, Friend or Leader?
In March our youth staff hear from Dr. Tim Elmore, writer of the Habitudes books, and leadership development guru. He spends a lot of his time studying and researching generations in the past to help us understand where generations of the future will go. He is passionate about shaping the future of the next generation of students.
In one of his sessions we talked about what he calls generation iY. It’s generation Y, but with the influence of all things Apple, iPhone, iTunes, iTouch, iPad… etc. He helped us discover that the generation we are currently working with in our student ministries desires one thing: to engage them. No longer will students of today respond to someone telling them what to think. They want to come to the conclusion themselves, they want to discover. This generation of students is the first generation that doesn’t need a leader to get information. They have the internet for that. What they need from us is help interpreting that information. But we can’t just tell them what to thing, we have to help them discover, we have to engage them.
Our team at LifeChurch.tv took this seriously as they prepared the next series of content. They came up with the idea that before a youth pastor got up on stage and “told” the students what to think through preaching, we asked the students to first upload their thoughts on the subject. How did we do this? In our ministry we meet in small groups led by adult leaders. Instead of meeting in our small groups at the end of the night, we met at the beginning. We told the students that as a group we had the opportunity to upload our thoughts through text messages. We came up with what our group thought was the biggest lesson we learned from our discussion and then one member text the lesson to the youth pastor who would use it in his short sermon at the end of the night.
We spoke their language! You should’ve seen the excitement. Getting to use their phones, which are appendages to their bodies, to engage them on their level changed the game in many of our small groups. The students loved the idea of formulating a thought on their own and then using technology to make that thought known. We engage them. Instead of telling them what to think, we helped them learn how to think.
In this day and age with students, we need everything we can get to help reach them. Try it at your church and let me know the impact engaging your students brings to the group.
This is a very cool story about the influence of one of our SWITCH leaders, brought to you through text messages:
March 25th, 11:12pm–Thursday
Leader: That voice that you heard inside of you last night is the Holy Spirit convicting you and giving you advice on what to do. Next time you hear it, obey it and each time you obey it, it will get easier to live a godly life.
March 26th, 11:12pm–Friday
Student: Wow. I have seriously thot about what u told me. I was just offered EX (extacy) and and I was just about to take it and I heard that voice. I flushed it down the toilet. My friend asked me why and I told him that God spoke to me. He laughed. But I know I don’t have to explain myself.
I remembered that message at SWITCH too and I figured out who my true good influence is. YOU. I thought about what you would do in this situation.
Leader: I’m proud of you brother! This is what it’s all about. You have no idea what’s going through your buddy’s mind. Even though he laughed at you, your actions will make him think. God will continue to test you then bless you and use you for his glory! Keep up the good work and call/text me for anything!
This is what it’s all about. One leader’s influence on one student is changing this student’s life for Christ. There is nothing better than pouring your energies into someone who is searching for their identity in Christ. When you do, you get to be a part of shaping this person into who God created them to be.
I encourage you, please continue to pray for our students. God is moving.
Below is a letter a student gave me a couple weeks back. I shared it with our adult leaders last night, showing all of us that this should be our goal for each student:
I am found and loved.
Always known by God.
And there is somebody to tell me it’s okay and to give me a hug.
And there is somebody who is here for me and cares about how I feel and God is that somebody.
I feel free to tell anyone what I feel. I know I have the strength to make it through the hard times in life.
I am quickly fading from who I used to be to the person I should be.
I am happy to have been born and having a chance to live a life.
And I could cry my heart out and I would have a shoulder to lean on.
(Student, 9th grade.)
Last night for SWITCH we talked about the Bible, and how the Bible is God’s note to us. To start this conversation with our students we had each of them write a note to anyone they wanted. Below are some of the best! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
Max, I love you. You’re the best dog in the whole world. I tell you everything because you’re the only guy I actually trust. You’ll never hurt me, leave me and you’ll always love me, kinda like God.–Lindsey
Dear Tyree, You look so weird and ugly! Just kidding! You are a beast!! Like, OMG, I’m serious. You are freakin’ awesome! So, what up, my bro?–from Conner PS: I’m glad to be an American.
Dear Sarah, I feel so blessed that you would come to church with me instead of watching TV. I pray that your eyes open and see how awesome God can be.–Your BFF Emily
Dear Justice, I miss you! It sucks that you’re grounded for like 20 thousand months! -Mariah
I love you God. You’re so freakin’ amazing and I always know you’re there for me.–Love Shawn
Dear SWITCH student, If I could write you anything it would be to tell you how much God loves you and desires to have a personal, real, dynamic relationship. God wants you right now! Don’t wait!–SWITCH Leader
Mrs. Gault, you’re the meanest math teacher ever! You always blame me for everything. You give us too much homework, but it’s ok.–Jess
Dear God, I really need your help. I’m having trouble with fake friends. I feel soo, soo alone and I feel like I can’t trust anybody.–Your friend, Shemetria
Tony, Hey! I like tots. The tater kind.–Chase
Dear Grandma, Life is so weird without you. I miss you a lot. If you get a chance will you ask God to tell my dad to answer the phone the next time I call?–SWITCH student
Dear Students, I am so excited you are here today! I feel totally blessed to be able to share the love of Jesus with you tonight. I am trying to earn your trust by being here every week and by being available outside of SWITCH. Please understand that I love you for who you are, not what you have done.–SWITCH Leader.
I feel incredibly blessed to work with these students and leaders. If you don’t mind, take a moment and offer a prayer for our SWITCH students. Thanks!
I had the opportunity stay at the new Tulsa Hard Rock Hotel these past two days.
The hotel is immaculate: marble floors, crystal chandeliers, plush carpets, towels and bedding. This was the setting for my first SAG retreat.
What is SAG? It stands for State Advisory Group. It’s taken me a while to learn what all the letters stand for… but as I get more involved, I’m realizing that what we do on this board is really very inspiring.
The SAG is an advisory group appointed by the Governor, made up of various individuals in all stations of life. There are pastors, representatives, judges, state employees, and retirees. There are 17 in our state advisory group, and we represent the JJDP for the state.
What is JJDP? It stands for Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. In essence what we do is decide what non-profit programs receive funding from the state. Programs such as the Boys and Girls Club of America, Big Brothers Big Sisters, many Native American prevention programs, and other after-school and mentor based programs– All aimed at the same goal: To keep students out of trouble.
This is my first year on the board and I’m excited to keep serving and learning. Next week I’ll be in Austin for a JJDP training. I see it as another way to keep fighting for the lives of young people, and continue to allow my burden for students to move me to action.
What is your burden?
Classical music falls from the speaker overhead, the low rumble of conversation is a momentary but welcome distraction. I’m at one of my favorite places to write, and write I must!
A 4 week series for our 5th and 6th grade ministry The Loop is due today. (I haven’t started!) I know, I know Procrastination kills the bird… or something like that…
The topic: Identity.
The theme: Getting ready for school in the morning.
The outline: Do you know who you are?
Week 1–Do you know if you’re clean? // Taking a shower, brushing teeth, getting clean spiritually.
Week 2–Do you know who you represent? // What we wear says a lot about us.
Week 3–Do you know what you’re taking with you? // Packing a backpack, what baggage do we have that we need to give to Jesus?
Week 4–Do you know who you are?// Looking in the mirror. What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror. Are you believing lies, or are you believing truth?
That’s the basic outline. But I need YOUR help! What are some scriptures I can use that go with each week? What are some cool thoughts I haven’t jotted down yet?
Help me out! Help me get inspired!