Posts Tagged ‘Sabotage’

Knowing I probably didn’t have the answers to quitting self-sabotage, I ask a very good friend and mentor who is not a self-sabotager, what his thoughts were on the subject. From our conversation, I gained two truths that are already helping me fight this battle.

More Irons in the Fire

You would think this is the exact opposite of what you’d want to do when you’re trying to accomplish something, or stay on task, but having more irons in the fire gives you more avenues to gain confidence. What does “Irons in the Fire” mean? It means having some other things to focus on in addition to just the ONE thing you’re trying to accomplish. Think of them as stepping stones toward your desired goal. Small wins that can give you the confidence and motivation to keep going and not give in to the battle of self-sabotage.

He gave me a football analogy saying that after a quarter back throws an interception (that’s when he throws the ball and the other team catches it. A big mistake!) when a quarterback throws an interception the coach will call for the next few plays to be easy, short passes, ones he knows he can make. This is done to build back the quarterbacks confidence after a failure.

What short, easy passes do you need to make in order for you to gain confidence in yourself and stop self-sabotaging?

Stay Ahead of Momentum

This is a great thought, because usually it’s momentum that carries us. But what happens when we reach a peak in our lives and we’ve done nothing to keep the momentum going? We fall into a pit, we quit trying, self-sabotaging our progress and then we’re back to where we started, but even more frustrated. We’ve got to find a way to stay ahead of momentum.

Here’s how I’m choosing to do this. When I’m in the middle of momentum (when things are going great, when I’m writing a lot, or we feel excited to go to the gym, or when eating healthy is easy for us, or when we’re at peace and content with our lives) that’s when it’s time to sit down and strategize on how to stay ahead of momentum.

Some questions to ask yourself as you strategize:

• How can I stay ahead of momentum?
• What things have happened to get me to where I’m at?
• What things do I need to have ready now, when I feel like momentum is slowing down?
• What things do I need to gain or acquire to help push me past the point of self-sabotage that I’m inevitably going to experience?

It’s time to wage war against our temptation to self-sabotage. Why continue to stay in the same place when there is a world of things to accomplish?

Confessions of a Self-Sabotager–Continued

I’ve come to realize the number of reasons why people sabotage their progress are as vast as the people this disease inflicts. Everyone is different, therefore, everyone will have a different reason, excuse, or cause for why we struggle with this menace.

I’ve realized a few reasons and I’ll share them below. See which one stands out most.

• We believe the lie we’re not worth it.

This is a common lie the enemy will use especially among women. Beware! Relational sabotage is wrapped up in this lie like a blanket swaddles a baby . This is the lie that tells you, “Go ahead, settle for what is less than best in your relationships. You’re damaged goods anyway.”

• We allow our feelings or emotions to dictate our actions.

How well most of us women know this. Many of our goals, dreams and visions are sabotaged when we allow this one to reign. “I really don’t feel like going to the gym today.” “I’ve had the worst day ever! I deserve a bowl of chocolate ice cream! It will make me feel better!” A little emotional, don’t you think? Don’t get me wrong, feelings and emotions are good things. It is the way God made us, but it will sabotage us if we don’t bring our feelings and emotions under our authority.

• Just plain laziness

Laziness is Sabotage’s middle name. Of course is easier to skip your Bible reading, not practice your sport, or sit down and write. Doing what you know you need to do is the harder thing. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be worth it. Don’t allow laziness to sabotage something God is calling you to do. Beat it with stick.

• Fear of change

Often times it is the fear of change that keeps us taking one step forward and two steps back. We sabotage our progress because we fear what it is going to do to our lives. We fear failure, but also success. We keep ourselves in our comfort zones, even though we’re screaming to get out. We keep ourselves living a good life, when God has an unimaginable life waiting for us on the other side of change.

So, why do you self-sabotage?

Tomorrow I’ll share some insight from some trusted friends and mentors who are NOT self-sabotagers. I hope we can all learn from their wisdom.

Confessions of a Self-Sabotager

First of all I have to say that the word “Sabotager” is not actually a word. I made it up for the purpose of this blog, so go ahead and add it to your vocabulary. I’m about to get pretty honest with all of you. You know, what they call transparent, so I appreciate it if you keep the snickers and gibes to yourself…

I am a self-sabotager. I sabotage myself. I don’t know why I do this, neither, do I like to think I do it intentionally, but nevertheless, I have to come to realize this is what I do.

Is it who I am? I’m still fighting against that lie because I believe the truth that we are not what we do, rather we are who God says we are. But lately the microscope has zeroed in on my thoughts and actions and I’m realizing there some habits I have that I really don’t like.

I’ll give you a couple examples to clarify any confusion. How do I sabotage myself?

• Keeping a healthy weight and eating right. I’ll do well for about a week, feel good in my clothes, work out 4-5 days a week and be happy. The problem is when I’m happy, I like to celebrate… with food… with bad food and I began to eat unhealthy, stop going to the gym and get mad and depressed with myself for doing it. Self-Sabotage.
• This blog. I’ll get on a streak of about a week of good posts, get lots of response through Twitter and FaceBook, and people telling me how much they enjoy reading, and then I’ll quit. Either I feel like I’ve ran out of things to say, or I just don’t want to take the time to write something, even though I know God has called me to write. Self-Sabotage.

What about you? Do you find yourself sabotaging your progress? I meet with many women about various things in their lives, the biggest being the issue of weight-loss, and they confess to me that they sabotage their progress for no apparent reason.

What is this battle we face? This phenomenon that seems to keep some of us from moving forward? I’m committed to get to the bottom of this, for my sake and the sake of others who find themselves in this same predicament. (For the sake of length of this post, I’ll talk more about the solution for self-sabotagers tomorrow.)

In the meantime, please leave your thoughts in the comments below, and Re-Tweet this post so all can join the conversation.