Posts Tagged ‘Women’

As we talk about the word “weapon” we must also talk about what it is we are combating. To use a weapon against something connotes that there is also an enemy. We all know that ultimately we fight against our spiritual enemy whose one goal is to take us out. But to say that a woman’s #1 weapon is encouragement, it signifies that there are certain enemies we fight against that may be more powerful than others.

Looking at the root word encouragement we find “courage.” So let’s think of some of the enemies that encouragement fights against:

• Fear
• Worry
• Distrust
• Low self-worth
• Insecurity

Are there some others that you would like to add to the list?

One of the most important things to remember when it comes to using this weapon of encouragement, is that it must be used first and foremost for ourselves. You might think it is wrong to encourage yourself. Maybe you feel guilty for even needing encouragement. But here’s the truth, sister: We need and should take all the encouragement we can get. Especially if the only place we’re getting it is from our own brains.

Here are four thoughts on how you can encourage yourself:

• Read a Psalm a day. (Kind David, the man who wrote most of the Psalms was always encouraging himself in the Lord. He would often use words of praise to remind himself how great God was to him. He also often reminded the Lord that he was “blameless” and “righteous” which of course is the same way God sees us since we have been covered with the blood of Jesus.
• Change your Inner Dialogue. (No more negativity, girls! You can’t afford to think or talk badly about yourself. This type of behavior has got to stop! It is a huge sign of insecurity and no one likes to be around a negative person. If you discover that you often think less of yourself I want you to stop and ask: what would God say about me in this moment.)
• Ask a trusted friend or mentor to speak truth over you. (It’s okay to ask for some encouragement every now and again. Let’s face it, we are our own worst critics, but the encouragement of someone we know and love can go a long way in helping us see the truth of who we are.
• Encourage others. (Proverbs 11:25 says, “He who refreshes others, will himself be refreshed.” If you start to feel like you could use some encouragement chances are you’re not the only one. Find someone at work, at the gym, at church or wherever you are and encourage them. This means more than just giving a complement, it may mean spending some time talking and sharing with someone. Encourage others and you will also be encouraged.

Share your thoughts on other ways we can encourage ourselves.

As I was thinking of the title of this post, I asked my husband what he thought a woman’s #1 most powerful weapon was…

“Sex?”

I looked at him with a shameful expression. “Come, on… really.”

I made him keep guessing and his ideas ranged from tears to gossip. I told him “You’re thinking about this all wrong. You’re thinking of a weapon as a negative thing.” (Which of course makes sense because he’s a Marine!)

And perhaps you did too when you read the title. But when I talk about a woman’s #1 most powerful weapon, I’m talking about a positive weapon, a weapon we use not only for others, but ourselves as well.

A Woman’s #1 Most Powerful Weapon is: ENCOURAGEMENT

I believe it is one of the purposes for which we were created. There is so much power in the action word, encourage. To miss the truth that it is our #1 most powerful weapon is a tragedy too many women find themselves facing. So this week we are going to be discussing the effects of this positive weapon of encouragement in these four areas:

• Ourselves
• Our Loved Ones
• Our Enemies and
• Everyone

I hope you might join into the discussion by leaving a comment or Tweeting about this post so all can share. You can also grab the RSS feed down on the right hand column and have daily posts sent right to your e-mail.

Questions for discussion:

Do you agree that ENCOURAGEMENT is a woman’s #1 most powerful weapon? Why or why not?

How have you seen encouragement work positive outcomes in your life?

I’d like to finish out our series by talking about what I believe is the key to becoming a Spartan Woman. Everything we’ve talked about this week points to one central thought, one recurring theme as to why the Spartan Woman is the way she is.

Being a Spartan Woman means: Knowing life is hard, but resolving to fight through it anyway.

Life isn’t a piece of cake. It is full of it’s own difficulties, challenges and hardships. There are things that happen that we wish wouldn’t have. Things we’d like to change, but can’t. Things that interrupt our lives that we wish we could ignore. But stepping into your role as the Spartan Woman means you have a resolve to take life as it comes. It means you become all that you should be as the daughter of a Warrior KING, taking on many of His qualities as life requires them.

This may mean you’ll have to get dirty now and again. Fight life’s battles and not be afraid of getting hurt in the process. Stand up for yourself and those you love and not back down in the face of adversity. It may mean you have to do some things that you might not like to do. Say some things that may be hard to say, and all the while knowing this is just the life of a Spartan Woman.

How do we fight? We fight with our head. We fight with our hearts. We fight on our knees with dedication and passion. We resolve to never back down, or let circumstances overwhelm us, because we know that no weapon created against us will succeed.

We fight with a Sword so sharp it separates soul and spirit, bone and muscle, joints and marrow. We fight against fear, bondage and the attack of our spiritual enemies. We fight for ourselves, our husbands, children, friends and family. We do not fight alone or in our own power, but we fight knowing a power greater than ourselves backs us up. We fight together. We fight for each other, with each other, but never against each other. We fight for honor. Valor. Love. Truth. We fight for what is dear to us, knowing if we don’t do it who else will?

That’s the Spartan Woman I want to be. Who else is with me?

The picture of the Spartan Mother is full of sacrificial love and support. Though I claim to know nothing about being a mother, I know there is much to be learned from the Spartan Woman when it comes to her children.

The biggest thing I take away from the Spartan Woman’s interaction with her child is her encouragement. When the King and her little one are sparing with one another, hitting each other in the face, she doesn’t swoop down to rescue her little boy. She stands by loyally watching, knowing this is a necessary part of his growth.

From observations I have seen this is a hard thing to do for some mothers. Our natural instinct is to rescue and nurture. However, sometimes rescuing our children is not the best thing for them. Sometimes going through a hard and trying time where our children are getting beat down (maybe not literally, but figuratively) is a necessary part of their growth. But I’ve known some mothers who can’t stand to see their children suffer. So they swoop down and rescue them, stealing the life lesson that can’t be taught any other way.

But contrary to how we feel, always rescuing our children is not the role of a mother. I once looked up the word mother, not in the dictionary, but in my Word Origin book. This particular word is full of meaning when we go back and look at where it came from. The definition that stood out to me the most is that a mother is to “give rise to another.” Just like a sponge rises when it is doused in water, we as mothers are to give rise to our children. To douse them with the knowledge we have and watch them grow, to encourage them as they create their own ways of thinking and living. But never to steal from them by swooping in and rescuing them, keeping them from learning some of life’s toughest lessons.

This is an unfortunate circumstance. Why do mothers struggle with releasing their children to learn hard lessons? Maybe because their identity is wrapped up in their children. Maybe because their faith is weak. Maybe because they want to feel like they are in control, even though the truth is that nothing is in our control.

I don’t know, because I’m not a mother. But maybe you are. Share your thoughts with us.

Have you ever been guilty of “rescuing”?

Have you seen other mothers struggle with this mindset?

Perhaps the most fascinating role the Spartan Woman plays, is the role of a wife.

Queen Gorgo, is the wife of King Leonidas in the movie 300, which beautifully displays the truth that behind every good man, is a good woman.

There are several traits that stand out to me when seeing the Spartan Woman as a wife. But perhaps the most astounding is The Spartan Wife displays amazing control of emotion. When her King is about to leave for war, she simply tells him, “Spartan, come back with your shield, or on it.”

She knows the dangers that lie ahead of him. She has surrendered to the fact that he may die, and she may never see him again. Yet she has complete control of her emotions because she knows the duty that lays on her husbands shoulders. She won’t add to that pressure by acting on the fear and anxiety that separation brings. Why? Because she is a Spartan Wife.

Here’s where that speaks to me. My husband has to go out of town often. Nearly a week out of every month I’m without him. How do I act? I can tell you, it’s not like the Spartan Wife with her poise and control. Instead it’s more like a bratty three year old, complete with tears, bouts of pouting, and plenty of long sighs that we women know speak louder than words.

I realize this does nothing to help my husband. In fact it hinders him. He’s going into the battle. He can’t help the fact that his work pulls him away more periodically than I would like. He doesn’t need to step into the battle of providing for our family with a non supportive and whiny wife at home. He doesn’t need to feel the guilt that I want him to feel when I act on my emotions. That’s acting in selfishness. He needs me to stand up straight, keep my tears at bay, and tell him to go conquer the world because I know he can. That’s the way of the Spartan Wife.

But what if you’re not married yet? You can still begin to display the characteristics of the Spartan Woman. Do you often find yourself complaining that Mr. Right hasn’t shown up yet? Are you waiting around, believing the lie that you’re nobody until somebody loves you? Stand up straight, Spartan Woman! Wipe those tears away and know that your Spartan Warrior awaits his arrival. Pray for his safe return from battle so he can sweep you off your feet someday.

We, as women, are wired with emotions. They are a good and natural part of life. But the danger is when we use those emotions to manipulate the behavior of those around us, especially the behavior of our husbands. We know the power our emotions possess. But it’s time we use that power not for guilt trips and bitterness but to encourage, enable, and inspire our warrior husbands.

After all, behind every good man, is a good woman.

What kind of support system are you being for your husband?

Do you often find yourself using your emotion to manipulate, even if you don’t do it intentionally?

If you’re single, what emotional changes do you need to make to become like the Spartan Woman and be ready for your warrior someday?

What is a Spartan woman?

If you’ve ever seen the movie 300, you’d know that only “Spartan women, give birth to real Spartan men.” The Spartans were known fighters. Training their young men at a very young age to be warriors. To be a Spartan man you had to prove yourself in battle.  But to be a Spartan woman was something else entirely.

I can’t tell you why exactly this fascination with the Spartan woman exists for me. I imagine because the Spartan woman represents all that we as women know we can be:

Beautiful

Strong

Courageous

Self-reliant yet, a Passionate a Lover.

She is fearless in the face of battle and seems to have complete control of her emotions. Yet she is still completely woman to the core. How does she accomplish to be so fierce yet graceful at the same time? Poised, but with a wild furry behind her eyes? Love deeply but selflessly sacrifice it all for the sake of truth? What does it take to be a Spartan woman?

This week, we’ll start a conversation. It may be one ended as I dive into this treasure chest of gems, but I don’t care. There’s something to be learned here, something of value, that I believe every woman should know. To me, this is not just some character in a movie. She represents a deeper truth, one that I believe God would have our hearts discover.

So we’ll start with a question: What do you think it means to be a Spartan Woman?

The comparison game. We’d never admit that we play it. But we do. Sometimes it creeps into our thoughts when we meet someone new (usually another woman.) We size her up, taking in what she’s wearing, how much make-up she has on, what she says, how she acts and the little question we might not even realize is effecting our encounter is “Am I better than her?” Am I prettier? Do I dress better? How do I measure up against her?

I used to struggle with this lie more than I’d like to admit. Thinking back on it now I realize the reason I played this little game of comparing was that I wasn’t secure in who I was. I was always seeking that next thing that could make me feel good about myself. If it was at the expense of another person than that was good enough for me.

It hurts my heart to know that so many women struggle with this desire to compare. It’s often the reason our encounters with each other can be so caddy. It’s definitely the reason I hate going to bridal and baby showers where the room is thick with the tension of comparison. It hurts me to know the reason we succumb to this form of interaction is because of our own insecurity. Why do we allow other people to decide how we feel about ourselves?

The only answer I have found to overcome this comparison game is love. Love is the answer. It may be difficult at first but if we approach our encounters with love we won’t have to compare ourself to someone else. This is just one more step in helping us overcome our insecurity.

Once we’ve realized our own insecurity and begin to overcome it, our eyes began to open and see that most other people (especially women) struggle with their own insecurity as well. If we know the truth and are working to overcome our own lies, love is what drives us to share that same freedom with those who may not know.

Comparison is just the enemy’s tactic to keep us blind to the fact that we need each other. We need each other to fight this battle. We need to link arms and pick each other up when we fall. We need to stop thinking that other women are the enemy and realize the enemy is pitting us against each other.

How much more could we do together than alone?

Let’s destroy these lies once and for all. Let’s not forget who we have been called to be as women and let’s remember that we are all in this together.

Our society today has caused many women to buy into this lie. To make it in this “world of men” we believe we have to be ruthless, cut-throat and sometimes even heartless in our approach to our success. Sometimes we think, “How else are we going to be noticed in this world run by men?”

I’ve struggled with this very lie, allowing it to distort who I was. I began to deny my heart as a woman and ultimately became someone I was never supposed to be. A fake, trying too hard to make myself stand out. Trying too hard to cover up the fact that I’m a woman. Why? Because I believed these thoughts the world has distorted.

• Women can’t handle the same things men can.
• Women are weaker then men.
• Women are too emotional to handle things.

So I began to be competitive, trampling over the people I worked with instead of helping, and encouraging them along. I made my heart numb to the heartache I encounter in my job so that I wouldn’t have the urge to cry. I even started dressing less feminine just so the men I worked with would know they couldn’t poke fun at me for being a girl any longer. The problem was, the more I became something I wasn’t, the less strength and power I actually had. The more energy I used trying to cover up who I was, the more I actually made those thoughts up there a reality. Discovering the truth was a liberating revelation that has catapulted my influence and recharged my confidence.

Lie: You’re Nobody Unless You’re as Strong and as Successful as Men

Truth: There is Strength in Being a Woman.

When we begin to realize that we have been given tremendous strength in who we are as women, I believe that is what will make us stand out. Instead of trying to hide our femininity we need to learn to embrace it and work from the strength that our identity brings us. A woman at rest in who she is, is a powerful thing. A woman secure in who God has created her to be, is a weapon in His armery, perfectly poised to take down the unique conflicts the enemy throws our way.

Share your own story. Have you felt the tension of being a woman in “a man’s world”? What obstacles have you had to face? How have you overcome them?

It’s time we take back our identity as women and live from the strength that our uniqueness brings us.

This lie has so many women addicted to the gym. It has their wallets stretched thin with the latest beauty products, fashions and specialties all promising to keep them looking beautiful. It encourages women to seek medical advice about the shape of their nose, or the size of their stomach. It’s deception keeps our noses in magazines and our eyes on what the world has told us is the standard of beauty.

You’re Nobody Unless You’re Pretty

Pretty to who? Pretty to your husband? Pretty to your friends, co-workers, parents, siblings, or strangers? Who are we asking to answer this question? Are they not giving us the answers we want? Are they not satisfying our need for validation in the area of our image? Why do we continue to strive for beauty and yet every time we look in the mirror we see the same old thing?

Maybe because we’re asking the wrong people. Maybe because we’re letting the wrong people decide what the standard of beauty should be. Have you ever asked yourself if you think you’re beautiful? What did you say? Therein lies your answer.

Ladies, until we begin to feel beautiful on the inside there is no amount of primping, prepping or plucking that can make us feel beautiful on the outside.

We must come to rest with who we are before we can look in the mirror and actually believe the truth that we are beautiful. (Read that again.) We must come to rest with who we are before we can look in the mirror and believe the truth that WE ARE BEAUTIFUL! God’s Word says, “The King is enthralled with your beauty, honor Him for He is your Lord.”–Psalms 45:11. That is truth, girls! We have been made in the image of GOD. Why do we have such a hard time believing it? Maybe because we haven’t learned to accept ourselves for who we are yet. Maybe because we haven’t learned to love ourselves. How do we expect to accept God’s love for us, if we don’t even love ourselves? Believe me, it won’t work. I know from experience.

So maybe the reflection of the mirror isn’t where we start. Maybe a better question to ask ourselves is, “What is the reflection of my heart? Have I accepted myself for who God made me to be? Have I accepted His love for me, and His truth that I am beautiful?”

Asking these questions and seeking the truth in them is a great first step in accepting who you are. Here are three more steps to help you on the journey:

1. Write down the top three physical things you don’t like about yourself. Do you have the power to change these things? Do it!

2. Write down the top five physical things you LOVE about yourself.

3. Spend time in Gods word seeking scriptures about what He thinks of you. Start memorizing these.

You’re Nobody Unless You’re Pretty

Your Beauty Makes the King of the Universe Gasp in Shock

Believe it!

No, it’s not just the song from Dean Martin, unfortunately, it is the lie so many of us as women believe.

I lived much of my single years with this kind of mindset. I thought that life didn’t actually start until I had found the right man and married him. This lie is so ingrained in our society that even my grandmother, pulling me aside at my rehearsal dinner, said, “Now you’re life has really begun.” I know so many sinlge ladies that have also bought in to this mind set. In the back of their minds they have that niggling thought: “Well, I’ll just put this off untill I’m married. I’ll just put off getting into shape. I’ll just put off starting my career. I’ll just put off starting that ministry. I’ll just put these things off until my life has really begun.

Single ladies aren’t the only ones who struggle with this lie. I’ve met with married ladies who admit, with fear in their eyes, that they don’t know what they would do if their husband left them. Their identities are so wrapped up in their husbands that even the slightest argument sends them spirialing in fear and doubt about their relationship.

Why? Because we believe the lie that: You’re Nobody ’till Somebody Loves You.

I say, we need to rebel against this lie! What a horrible, self-degrating thing to believe about ourselves! By believing this lie we are saying to the world that our worth, our significance, our identity is left up to the fickle mind of another human being! This lie has got to go! We are too valuable to believe such a thing. Don’t you see what the enemy is trying to do? 

“Than what’s the answer? How do we climb out of this well of lies?”

We do it with truth. We do it together.

Lie: You’re Nobody ’till Sombody Loves You.

Truth: Somebody already loves you!

I know what you must be thinking. “Oh, that’s easy for you to say, you’re already married.” Or “Anna, I’ve heard that one all my life. Got anything better?” Let me ask you this: What is better than knowing that Jesus Christ, The God of the universe, is absolutely, incredibly, unconditionally, and irrationally in love with you! Yes, you! If you’re looking for something better than that, I’d say you really haven’t come to grips with just how amazingly outstanding that statement, that truth, really is! He doesn’t just love you, He’s in love and loving you right now. He loved you even before you were born. He loved you so much He decided that giving up his life for you was worth it. Now what is our life worth to us? He’s the only Man who will ever truly satisfy you. He’s the Warrior our hearts were made for. We’re the maidens He’s risked His life for! Just writing about this gives me goosebumps. Just thinking about it makes me want to raise my hands in worship. Jesus loves me! Jesus loves you! You are somebody to someone! THE SOMEONE!

What do you need to do this week to get that through your head? Do you need to confess some sin so you can experience God’s beautiful grace? Do you need to forgive yourself so you can began to see what God sees when He looks at you? Do you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize just how blessed you are with the things you DO have instead of focusing on the things you don’t? What do you need to start that you have been putting off?

You’re Nobody ’till Somebody Loves You

You’re Everything to the Only Somebody Who Truly Matters.

That should be enough to last a life-time!